bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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