How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
