Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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