she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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