I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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