babies were throwing up all over the place
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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