Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
