"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
