My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
