in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
