Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
