Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
