But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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