Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
