I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
