Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
