Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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