Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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