is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize