Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
