What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
