the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
