as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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