so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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