I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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