New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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