That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
