i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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