I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
