I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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