Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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