This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
