Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize