is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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