Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
