great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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