I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
