Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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