He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
