i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
