I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think my vagina is haunted
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
