the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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