he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
