saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
