i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
