I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
