Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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