just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
