I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
