Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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