I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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