I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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