Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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