i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
