i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize