I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
