hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
