don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
