haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
