Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I forget how to act sober
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