i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
