put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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