Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
