Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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