He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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