college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
