Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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