my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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