Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
