This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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