oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
