i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize