Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
