so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
